Sunday, October 15, 2006

I got a strange invoice in the mail the other day in a package that arrived from a gay adult video service. Yeah, porn--I do stuff other than opera, OK? Inside the package was my exact order (the 2007 Testosterone calendar was back ordered but properly noted on the invoice, which is good because it looks HOT). My name and address was listed in the "ship to:" box. However in the "bill to:" box there was the name of a completely different man, first named William who also lives in Roslindale, MA although all the way over on the other side of town. Call me crazy but this seemed odd. At a bar someone buys you a drink with the hope of getting in your pants. In a catalog sale, a guy doesn't pick up the tab for your porn if he doesn't even know what you look like.

What to do? My first thought was that somebody at the porn palace had mixed up two guys named William and that his order had been billed to me. That would be an attractive option, perhaps, if he'd ordered one item that came in below my $37 total—but not if he'd bought out all the uncut bear DVDs in the place, and it was all charged to me. Should I call him? Tricky--I know nothing about him. What if someone he wasn't out to should answer?


"Good evening, Is William D______ there?"

"No, he's out. This is his wife, can I take a message?"

"Oh, OK, thanks. Please tell him that I got my gay porn shipment from Cocks-R-Us but they accidentally charged it to your husband's account. I'm concerned that there's been a mix-up, and that maybe HIS gay porn shipment has accidentally been charged to me. Hello. Hello?!"

Probably not the best idea. So I called the gay porn company and got a mostly satisfactory answer. Yes, somebody had mixed up the two Williams of Roslindale, MA, although he hadn't ordered anything so I don't know and they don't know how his name and address would have come up in the computer. They simply sent my order to him. When sharper eyes caught the mistake, they sent me a duplicate shipment, charged my account properly and credited his. The guy on the other end and I had a good laugh over the fact that William D______ hasn't sent back any of what he got by mistake.

Thanks to Alex Ross, music critic of The New Yorker and author of the blog "The Rest Is Noise" for this:

From Andrew Sullivan: "Earlier this week, secretary of state Condi Rice and First Lady Laura Bush attended a State Department ceremony for the new global AIDS coordinator. His name is Mark Dybul. Money quote from USA Today: 'At a State Department ceremony this week, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice warmly acknowledged the family members of Mark Dybul, whom she was swearing in as the nation's new global AIDS coordinator. As first lady Laura Bush looked on, Rice singled out his partner, Jason Claire, and Claire's mother. Rice referred to her as Dybul's mother-in-law.'

"There you have it. Among decent elite Republicans, there is often great acceptance of gay people as individuals, and of their families and spouses. 'Mother-in-law' is itself an affirmation of marriage for gay couples; and the secretary of state just used those words. And yet her party officially regards gay unions as, in James Dobson's words, a prelude to the 'destruction of the earth'. So which is it, guys? Let us know some time, will you?"

I'm just back from the latest QBB (Queer Boston Blogger) gathering for Sunday dinner at Jason and Bryan's new place, their first together. The standing "members" were there--Karl, Atari, Chris and I along with Anthony (GayProf), Steve and Jim (The Persian) who were with us for the first time for a pot luck and over five hours of talk, laughter and good food.

that was good reading!
The porn mix-up is pretty funny. Chris & I had a nice time with you guys yesterday, and we're looking forward to our next get-together.
I love your porn story!

I've never bought any (I own's always just been inherited).

My only funny porn story is that when I was between 12-14 years old, I started receiving porn catalogs in the mail. My mom was livid but we it took nearly two years for it to stop arriving. I also would get jury duty notices at a young age for some reason (and have been called to jury duty every three years: almost like clockwork).

Anyway, I love that your fellow Rossie friend enjoyed your porn. Perhaps you should meet!
Karl, that's probably because you've always been suave and mature from a very early age!
Good meeting you, Will!

You should find out what the other-porn-watching Will looks like. I am not sayin', I am just sayin'.
Yesterday was much fun, thanks for inviting me! I loved meeting everyone. :)

I haven't ordered any sort of porn since, well I can't remember. There are so many online "resources" these days why would anyone want to? *wink*
A friend of a friend of mine works for in the customer service department. My friend relayed a story about how far to many of his calls go.

Woman’s Voice: “Hi, I’m not sure why I have this charge on my credit card. What is this company?”

Customer Service Guy: “”

Woman’s Voice, now angry: “Is this a gay site?”

Customer Service Guy: “Yes it is.”

My next door neighbour's son has the same first name as I do. Our street address differs by one letter, eg 1 and 1A. He once ordered and paid for a porn tape but, since my name and address was already in the computer system, they shipped it to me. We've never officially admitted to one another what happened; this was ~10 yrs ago now.

BTW, Will, you may be interested in this new blog if you have not already seen it:
I love the porn story. Anything that deals with porn and customer service is innately funny.

As for Condi and the gay mother-in-law... I hear the neocons are upset about the whole affair.
The porn mix up it too funny!
What a crack-up!
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